Monthly Archives: August 2011

Dear Mr Astro Malaysia


*Warning: language used not suitable for anyone less than 40. This letter was inspired by the letter writing scene from the comedy ‘White Chicks‘.

Dear Mr. Astro Malaysia,

I am a yellowish-brown (and white on the inside) Chinese man having a BF*. I went to your outlet in Seremban 2 more than 2 weeks ago to sign up for the Astro Beyond package and was promised by your personnel that the new satellite dish and decoder will be installed in 7 days (which I think is a ridiculously long wait reflecting badly on your already bad service). Anyhow, I said “okay” since it’s not a matter or life and death anyway.

I then waited for 2 weeks with no sign of anyone from Astro Malaysia calling to set up an appointment for the installation of the new dish. I then called the same personnel and asked the reason for the delay only to have him answer me this way:

“Sorry la boss….my boss told me that this is Raya season, so preference will be given to Malay customers so all the others will just have to wait!”

I am very disappointed that your company chose to practice what I see as a race-based discrimination. Yes, I agree that Raya is near but I fail to see how the festive celebration is an excuse to place others who signed up later for the package to be given preference simply based on the criteria of ethnicity! Does that mean because I am not Malay I have less right to enjoy HD TV although I pay the same rate as the others?

Mr. Astro Malaysia, you SUCK!

Sincerely up yours,

Jimbo.

*BF: Bitch Fit.

Violated


I went to a shopping centre in town to buy some underwear (read no further if you are prudishly adverse to any mention of undergarments). I have had my eyes set on some, in my opinion, rather nice and comfortable tanga briefs by POLICE.

While I was making my selection (I wanted to get light-colored ones so people can’t spot my underwear color from Mars whenever I put on a pair of white Bermudas) when I was accosted by a post-menopausal woman.

“Mister, if you are gonna choose that brand, I think you had better think twice. Why don’t I introduce you to a much better brand?”

“It’s okay”, I flashed one of those smiles that I hoped conveyed the message that I’d like to be left alone and that she has no business introducing underwear to a guy young enough to be her son.

She was obviously immune to subtle messages because she then launched into a vitriolic attack on the very brand I had in mind!

“This brand ar… the material is too thin la. The cutting is too low and it’s not comfortable. Aitellya, when you sweat down there ar… (looking at the region where my family jewels are located), this underwear ar…cannot absorb all the sweat and you will be wet and sticky down there (again casting her lascivious eyes down my nether region).

I was about to say, “I happen to like low-cut briefs made with thin materials and I do not sweat like a pig, at least not down South!”, but she had already disappeared….

Only to reappear a few seconds later carrying the product that she claimed would surpass any other underwear in the world!

I took one look at it and vigorously fought the urge to puke! In her hands was one of the most hideous underwear I have ever seen in my life! It even made Pagoda brand briefs looked desirable! I imagined my family jewels wrapped inside one of these abomination like an Egyptian mummy, the heat stifling and killing any middle-aged left-over sperms. The material looked like they were from the very people who designed the costumes for Bananas in Pajamas! I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of them and if I died and some one actually puts one of these on my persons, I swear I shall haunt him/her forever!

I firmly believe that woman was either an alien from outer space sent to prevent men from procreation or an escapee from an asylum for men-haters.

I gave her one of my “That’s blardy disgusting!!!!” stare and walked away.

To have such a person peddling men’s brief in a male underwear section is a violation of my human right. Every man should be allowed to browse for his intimate wear in peace. I am sure women would be offended if a man should peddle Bananas-in-Pajamas bras or lingerie to them in the women’s section!

Just leave me alone!!!!

The humour gene


If there is one thing I’d like my kids to inherit from me, aside from my drop-dead-gorgeous-good-looks (kidding), it’s my sense of humour. Personally I think having the ability to see the lighter side of every situation makes difficult times easier to bear and easy times all the more fun!

The other day at the dinner table, Ryan (my 8-year-old kid) suddenly picked up a container of what looked like stale Brylcream and promptly announced:

“I will become very short if I eat this!”

I was puzzled at his comment until he showed me what was written on the label on top of the container:

Heh heh!

I think my kids are gonna do just fine. :)

Sympathy marks


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I had this conversation with a patient who was involved in the recently concluded semester 7 and 9 OSCE. During the 20 minutes break after a particularly disastrous performance by the last  exam candidate, she asked me:

“Doctor, how did the candidate do?”

“Not very good, I’m afraid”, I answered her.

“Will you fail the candidate?”,  she asked.

“Yes I did”, I admitted.

“Does that mean the candidate will have to repeat the exam?”, she asked.

“Yes, if the candidate fails a number of stations and ends up failing the entire exam”, I explained.

“That would cost a lot of money, wouldn’t it?”, she said.

“Yes, around RM 33K per semester”, I told her.

“Oh dear!”, she exclaimed.

There was a lull in the conversation.

“Can’t you pass the candidate? Pity the candidate-lah”, she pleaded.

“It is not so simple as that. I don’t like failing any candidates. We want to train and produce competent and safe doctors. I would do society a great disservice if  I allow an unsafe or incompetent candidate to pass and practice as a doctor”, I tried explaining.

“Yes, yes, I get what you mean”, she replied after thinking it over.

There was another lull in the conversation.

“Actually doctor, to tell you the truth, if I were sick, I wouldn’t want to be treated by some of the candidates today!”, she confessed.

“Primum non noce” – Above all, do no harm.

By not allowing an evidently incompetent or unsafe candidate to pass,  (at least the station that I was involved in), difficult the decision as it may be, I was merely adhering to that principle.

In medical exams, at least in my opinion, there are no sympathy marks.

Coping with loss


Over the last few days we have lost 3 patients in the ward. All of them were infected with HIV and, typical to most such patients in Malaysia, presented at a very late stage of their illness.

One was admitted with cerebral toxoplasmosis earlier but subsequently absconded from the ward, only to be wheeled back in a wheel chair to the ward by his concerned father after 2 weeks. Another came in such a debilitated state with hardly any flesh left on his emaciated body. The third man was brought in with pneumonia which was complicated by hemolysis.

We did what we could – treat the infections, support the lacking nutrition, offer comfort and hope but in the end, all 3 succumbed to their illnesses.

During the post-round chit-chat, my junior colleagues voiced out their frustration, feeling of helplessness and sadness over the deaths.

I could identify with what they felt. There was a time when I was at their stage in my career that I took such deaths quite hard. I would be troubled and sad for days on end and basically beating myself silly for “not doing enough” or perplexed over whether I had actually done my best for the patients. It affected my work in many ways.

Over the years, I’ve learned some coping mechanisms, stuff they didn’t teach me in medical school – empathize but keep a safe emotionally detached distance, budgeting some time off for some personal R&R, blogging, etc.

And that was what I told my junior colleagues. In medicine, especially HIV medicine, there will be many patients who will present at such a late stage that despite the best efforts, they will not respond. We should not be too hard on ourselves and see these deaths as being reflective of our failure as a health care provider. In the midst of the many seemingly failed and hopeless cases, there will be victories – like another man who also had cerebral toxoplasmosis and presented in a state of coma. Our intervention helped him recover to the extend he could get up and walk unassisted! How cool is that?!

:)

Parenting 101: Reconnecting


Being away from the family for 9 months while I was in Melbourne can be quite detrimental to the psyche of my kids. Sure, we Skype-ed almost every night while I was there but there was only so much we could chat over the internet, especially when most times, the internet (at least at where I lived) was inconsistent and slow.

The wife complained quite a bit, especially about Ryan’s increasingly rebellious behavior and strange habits (like hiding his used school socks in between his books!) while I was in Melbourne and I felt helpless.

I came back to discover my girl had become a young woman, now more prone to show her displeasure and occasional temper tantrum; but still the sweet girl who adores her daddy. My son had grown taller and has developed his own sense of identity. Just the other day, he said “Just let me be who I am!” when I chided him for his obnoxious (at least in my opinion) way of eating a piece of mooncake (he digs out all the contents first, pops them in his mouth and then flattens the ‘skin’ of the mooncake into a lump of paste and eats it last – pretty disgusting if you ask me).

I realized I have missed a significant chunk of their lives. :(

Anyway, I am determined to reconnect with them and hopefully exact some good paternal influence on them before pubertal hormones hit and effectively block out any sound parental advice.

One way to do this, in my humble opinion, is to create memories – good ones preferred over bad ones. And to do that, I had to get interested in what my kids are interested in.

Right now, the girl is consumed by the upcoming UPSR exam and so has little time for anything else except the occasional new song over the radio, the computer games (only on Saturday) and her new BFF – Cleffy the cleft-lipped urinary incontinent Shih-Tzu. The boy is all about Transformers, guns, pirates, cycling, swimming and anything-remotely-connected to Harry Potter/Nagini/Voldemort.

And they both love our iPads! Sharing the use of apps (usually games) on my iPad with the kids is a good way to connect with them and build memories. Of course it also involves a certain degree of trust on my part that they will not damage my very expensive toy personal-efficiency-enhancer-device! It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

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And so, currently we are working on our ‘Smurf Village’ on the iPad (I have disabled in-app purchase in case they buy USD 59.99 worth of Smurfberries accidentally and gives me a premature heart attack!) and we are at level 13 now with 27 cute little Smurfs living peacefully in the village, planting all kinds of crops, building houses and bridges, sawing logs, express-baking, hammering pegs into the ground, making potions and mining for gem stones! At times I leave the decision on what crops to plant and harvesting to the kids (we killed a number of them because we forgot to harvest!).

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Right now, I’m at Chapter 5 of ‘The Chamber of Secrets‘ of the Harry Potter series just so I can speak ParselTongue with my son and conjure up a few nifty spells when I need them (I always get hit with the Adva Kedevra spell!). It also allows me to understand what my kids are babbling about since they know everything Harry Potter and I don’t.

I try to take them on one-on-one short excursions out – swimming and hiking with the son, shopping with the girl, cycling with the kids, jogging while the son cycles right in front or behind me, etc. Time’s running out. It won’t be long before they would prefer their own company of people around their age group.

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And much as I dislike the incontinent nature of the silly dog (I really should invest in some dog diapers), I will have to take a liking to it since it makes my girl happy. :)

I do have two problems though…I still can’t quite sing any of the songs that they enjoy listening and singing along to and I absolutely find no joy in playing computer games on the PC! Sigh…