Can you afford to curse?

I found this so hilarious I gotta write about it! Apparently the Victoria’s State Government is gonna push a law in Parliament that empowers police officers to issue fines for use of language deemed to be indecent, disorderly, offensive or threatening!

How cool is that?!

I almost choked on my coffee when I read it, especially the fine for uttering the word ‘T. Abbott’ (now I don’t wanna get fined, if you get what I mean). LOL!

Sadly, I think I can only afford the 50 cents cussin’.

PS: I wish they would introduce this law back home ~ we’d make a fortune from all the foul-mouthed imbecilic arses politicians there.

Shoplifters

The other day, I witnessed 4 teens in action at Big W. I was at the male clothing section hoping to find a good (and inexpensive) vest because the days are getting so much colder these days as winter draws near.

They were probably in their mid-teens, all of African origin, each wearing baseball caps and each carrying a huge bag. They were congregated in the underwear section (btw, underwear is so awfully expensive in Melbourne!) and while speaking to each other loudly (in their own native tongue – but punctuated with in regular intervals with the ‘F’ word that rhymes with ‘luck’ and ‘duck’ ~ which makes me wonder if a synonym for that expletive is absent in their native tongue!), 3 of them were busy stuffing underwear into their bags!!!

The modus operandi was simple. All four of them would walk out together and when the Big W at the exit requested for their bags to be inspected, the one with the empty bag would stop and open his bag to be inspected while the other 3 walked out quickly.

The lady, suspecting something amiss, shouted after the 3 kids but they pretended not to hear and made a quick getaway! The guy whose bag was being inspected also quickly zipped up his bag and left!

Incredible isn’t it?

I think the sign above should be re-written and enforced! Then, maybe people would think twice before stealing.

I think they probably tried to steal the pants off this mannequin as well!! Heh heh!

Melbourne’s Slutwalk

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Yeah, you read the title correctly. I don’t know else to minimize the ugliness of the ‘S’ word. Just pronouncing the ‘S’ word causes my inner being to cringe in distaste. Some words are , best left unsaid or untouched. It’s difficult changing a word with a lot of negative connotations into one that is positive. It’s like organizing a  “Sewers March for Hygienic Food”!

You get what I mean?

Anyway, today while taking a walk in the city, I chanced upon a group of a few hundred men and women who took to the streets for the first Melbourne Slutwalk.

What’s a Slutwalk?, you may ask. Basically, these people marching against “putting the blame on women for being raped”. You can read the origin of the movement here: Wikipedia: Slutwalk

Malaysian politicians should take heed of the message here! (A lot of them think they are God’s gift to women and women are the cause of all thing sinful in their oh-so-righteous mind). Heck, we should organize an Anti-FART march in Malaysia (FART: Foul Asinine Retarded Thinking).

But I digress.

Point is, while I fully support the notion that women (or the way they choose to dress) should not be blamed for the lustful crimes committed by men (or other women!), I’d wish they would pick a better banner to express themselves.

Somehow calling themselves ‘sluts’ and trying to ‘reclaim the word’ for themselves in protest just seems not right.

Read what a columnist (a woman) from the New York Post thinks of the march: ‘Slut Walk’: feminist folly

Facebook Addiction

I read a very interesting article in The Age today which I have reproduced below. I think it’s a thought-provoking piece on the impact of social networking sites on every day life. I can identify with many of the points that the author raised.

One of these days, I’m gonna try to give up Facebook and go back to the old ways of interaction – a phone call, a post card, and a drink at the local mamak stall.

Confessions of a Facebook addict, desperate for an online hit

Matt Smith

May 26, 2011

Hi, my name is Matt, and I’m a Facebook addict. It’s been five weeks since I updated my Facebook status or looked at a profile page.

Some of you are no doubt reading that sentence with a mixture of horror and disbelief. Others will be sneering at how ridiculous it is to have an attachment to an internet site.

The bottom line is that many people out there spend part of their day on Facebook, living what amounts to a virtual life. It’s a major drain on productivity for those who live a cubicle life.

It’s easy to see why: relationships form and end over Facebook. You share in the news of loved ones who live far away. You reconnect with people who you vaguely knew in high school. You track down old flames to see if your life is better than theirs. You go where you shouldn’t.

I was one of those people. Facebook became an addiction, in some ways, and even more so when I could easily access it from my phone at any time. Within minutes, I could get updates on what my friends and family were up to, I could see where they’d been, I could look at photos of holidays or babies of friends who have moved on with their lives. Who needs to phone or see people in real life? I live on the other side of the country from my family; for me this was perfect.

There were two breaking points that made me realise that with all this social networking, I had become anti-social.

The first was that I found out my great-grandmother had passed away when my uncle updated his Facebook status three days after the funeral. No one had bothered to let me know.

The second was when my younger sister showed her concern for me by attempting to listen to my troubles and offer advice over Facebook chat. Concern doesn’t come accompanied with an emoticon. If you really care, the least you can do is pick up the damn phone.

And so I quit. I pulled out and withdrew from Facebook. I posted a goodbye message, and set about deactivating my account. Through the process I was ever mindful of the fact that I was saying goodbye to a lot of people. Facebook was my only active link to a lot of friends and family who live across the country. People with whom I no longer talk regularly, nor see in person, but still like to know what they’re up to. Many of them probably see me in the same way.

Facebook is almost desperate to hold on to you though – just as you’re about to deactivate it, it resorts to emotional blackmail. It will show you your photos, and tell you your friends and family will miss you. Josie will miss you. Dan will miss you. Darryl will miss you. If they missed me so much, they would pick up a phone once in a while.

I deactivated my account before I could reconsider.

In the month since, I’ve caught up with some people in person, exchanged emails, and spoken on the phone with some family members. A friend actually went out of her way to phone me and invite me to a party, considering she couldn’t ”Facebook event” me. It’s been nice. A bit of a relief. I can’t say I don’t get the compulsion to see what people are up to, and I feel a bit detached from those that I don’t have much to do with any more.

I guess this is what real life is like, though. At some point you move on from friendships, especially after high school. Was my life any richer from interacting with people who I hadn’t seen in more than a decade? Did I really need to be poked by those I could barely remember? Facebook is the ultimate, endless high-school reunion. You’re friends with people simply so you can see what’s going on with their lives.

It’s strange that we view this as a ”social” network, though. Reading a person’s wall or profile, posting a message, these are actions you do in solitude in front of a screen, they’ve replaced talking to people or seeing them in person. You’re getting the information, but you’re no longer benefiting from the social aspect.

And my Facebook account isn’t deleted. It’s still ”there”. Facebook holds all my information, my friends, and all it will take for me to get all that ”socialising” back is to log in. It will take me back with open arms, like I’d never left. It doesn’t keep me awake at night, but the temptation is undeniable.

The downside? I’m prone to feeling a bit lonely now. Facebook was almost like a nicotine patch for the isolation I’ve felt since moving to Melbourne three years ago. But I’ve got to make the most of it, and actually phone people to catch up. This could make me a better friend, or a better brother to my siblings.

Who knows, in the long run I might find that I end up being more social.

Matt Smith teaches journalism at La Trobe University.

Furious at Fast 5

Yesterday I decided to watch the latest installment of the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise – the 5th one (Rio Heist). Other than the 3rd (Tokyo Drift – which I thought was awful) I’ve followed the original and sequels avidly.

The action came on err….fast and furious and although the actors (Paul Walker and Vin Diesel) now look much older and spotting the beginning of a beer belly and double chin, watching them in action was an adrenaline rush! I had to remind myself to breathe a couple of times throughout the movie.

I’m not gonna give out any spoilers here. Frankly, there wasn’t much of a plot and a lot of the scenes purely defied logic but who cares!

I do, however wanna vent my unhappiness (fury, actually) with my fellow movie-goers.

Next to me sat 3 barely-post-pubertal Chinese who decided that the best way to watch the movie was to whisper into each others ears all the time! I really dislike people who whisper in an attempt to keep silent. The ‘whisp, whisp whisp’ sound annoys me greatly, reminding me of Voldemort’s pet snake.

And so, I moved to the end of the row.

And then, the Indian couple in front of me started to annoy me as well. I knew they were Indians because they WERE SPEAKING HINDI LOUDLY ON THE PHONE DURING THE MOVIE!!!!! What asses! Once the annoying conversation was over, the female half of the couple decided that checking her Facebook status was of more interest than the movie and continued to check her status throughout the movie. I don’t know about you but I found it annoying to have the light from her iPhone distracting me in the darkness of the cinema. It made the movie a whole lot less enjoyable.

Gaargh!!!!!!

I didn’t expect to encounter such unpleasant people in Melbourne (admittedly, it’s worst in Malaysia ~ there was a time I was watching a particularly emotional scene on the screen when an idiot’s phone went off with the “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” ring tone!!!) and I’m really disappointed. I guess people are the same everywhere.

Food Discovery

Last week I discovered some really delightful delicacies in Melbourne!

On Friday, my colleague me a macaroon. A macaroon is a type of light, baked confection, described as either small cakes or meringue-like cookies depending on their consistency. The original macaroon was a “small sweet cake consisting largely of ground almonds. The one I received was yellow in color and it looked like a compact powder case. It looked too good to be eaten but ate it I did and it was heavenly! The crust was made of almond powder with a sweet gooey filling. Absolutely gorgeous!! (as the Aussies will say).

The next day I discovered a shop selling macaroons while I was exploring Chapel Street in Melbourne.

On Saturday, I was joined by 4 of my ex-students who are in Melbourne at the moment, and we went to the St. Kilda Pier to try and see if we could spot a few of those cute Fairy Penguins. (We did!).

For dinner, we headed to a joint nearby called Andrews Hamburgers (144, Bridport Street) which, according to my ex-students, make the “best burger in Melbourne”. I don’t know if it’s the best burger in town but it sure tasted really good. Mine was a humongous burger with a thick slice of meat topped with bacon and egg. Definitely not recommended for people with high cholesterol and heart problems.

On Sunday, I discovered Lygon Street which is THE place for Italian food, great coffee and mouth watering dessert. I had the ones above with a to-die-for cup of Flat White.

A visit to Lygon Street would be incomplete if one does not eat Gelato! Never mind that the weather was at a cold 12C – you just have to have one! I got myself a coffee + pistachio + mango combo. It was my first gelato and I loved it!

Anyone knows what else is there to eat in Melbourne?

End of the World

So….

The world did not come to an end yesterday as predicted by the leader of a fringe ultra devout Christian group in the USA. He predicted that a series of earthquakes hitting successive countries at 6pm (his) local time and heralding The Rapture. Truth be told, I got a tad worried when I did not get any SMS from home yesterday – for a moment I thought I was left behind!

Which of course, raise a lot of issues. Not only did the non-event discredited that leader and his flock of (by now shocked and disbelieving) followers, it also subjected the church at large to another round of fodder-for-jokes on Twitter and Facebook.

It also meant that I have to continue paying my credit card debt, start writing that darn manuscript for publication, work on another Access database which my supervisor belatedly gave to me (she obviously did not believe in the rapture ~ at least not the non-event yesterday) and a host of to-do-stuff that I have been putting off.

On the plus side, it also means I will still have the opportunity to watch the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie, X-men First Class and more importantly, the finale of the Harry Porter series. It also means I still have the opportunity to play with my new toy which I have ordered a week ago but have not arrived!

Jokes aside….

The end of the world is mentioned in the Bible in various writings such as:

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him (Matthew 24:42-44).

But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. You also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him (Luke 12:39-40).

Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:1-5).

Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you (Revelation 3:3).

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour (Matthew 25:13).

Simply put: no one really knows when it will happen!

But that’s not the core issue.

The core issue, for me, was simply this: I wasn’t ready for the end of the world. I was doing stuff I shouldn’t be doing and not doing stuff that I should be doing.

Sigh…

I often tell my patients that what matters is not when one will die, what matters is how one’s life is lived!

It’s time I listen to my own advice.

Tramsformation

The central artery of Melbourne CBD (that’s Central Business District), Swanston Street, is being ripped apart this weekend and new tram tracks laid as part of an ambitious plan to transform the entire street into a pedestrian and trams only road.

Right now the street looks like a street in Beirut. The project will be finished by the end of next year. Hopefully I will have an opportunity to come back and see the new Swanston Street.

Hillsong Conference, Melbourne

For the first time in my life, I went for a Hillsong Conference at the Hisense Arena in Melbourne a few days ago. I think it safe to also say, it will be the last time I will go for a similar conference.

Hillsong Australia is a large church based in Sydney that has been around for a few decades and their hallmark are the numerous music albums containing some of the best loved Christian songs in the 21st century. My church back home, like many other English speaking churches all over the world, regularly used their songs in the service.

The show (I have to call it a show because it was a show!) kicked off with a performance by a group of local youngsters belting out a few Christian songs (they were unfamiliar to me) followed by the rather un-Christian contemporary song: Damon and Elena’s Airplanes complete with the crowd waving their iPhones in the dark! I thought they did a pretty decent rendition of the song!

And then Hillsong United took to the stage belting out song after song, mostly taken from their latest album, The Aftermath. Once again the songs were unfamiliar to me and so my participation in the sing along was quite minimal. Anyway, the music was so loud, you can’t hear yourself singing, so it really didn’t matter. There were 4 song leaders, 3 guys and 1 lady. One of the guys looked suspiciously like John Lennon!

Right about the midway point, the band paused twice, once to collect ‘offerings’ (because the ticket fees were “not enough to cover the expenses”) and another time for a very short sermon given by a person who looked suspiciously like Mick Jagger on Botox. Thereafter the band went back to the singing frenzy, eventually culminating in 3 or 4 final songs ending with the song, “One Way” with the volume cranked up to the maximum. I had to close my ears to prevent acute ear drum damage. I could  literally feel the ground tremble beneath my feet!!!

That’s me closing my ear with my right hand. The left hand was protecting the family jewels from potential shock wave damage. Heh heh! There were plenty of empty seats because most of them had gone to the front of the stage to jump/sing/clap along, right in front of the giant speakers!

Ironically,  “One Way” was the only song I was familiar with that night! Unfortunately trying to sing along was an exercise in futility. The music was so loud it even drowned out the singers’ voices on stage! The drummer was pounding the drums mercilessly as if Armageddon was just around the corner! I seriously thought he was high on something (others will say he was led by the Spirit).

And then the show ended. My ears kept ringing until the next day. I’ve had tinnitus all my life (the result of bad fall when I was a young boy) which was aggravated by the show.

I would be lying if I were to say I thoroughly enjoyed the 2.5 hours of heart pounding, potentially deafening high octave praise and worship session (actually it was more like a rock show). It would be untruthful.

I think the issue at heart was me. Had I gone to the conference expecting a rock performance, I would have been delighted with what I experienced that night. All the elements were there – loud music, frenzied singers, lots of hair tossing and leg raising, people jumping and waving in unison, blinding strobe light etc etc (It’s a wonder I didn’t get a migraine!).

In the end, it was the misplaced expectation of hoping to be ministered to and to be touched by God that led to my disappointment. The issue was me, not Hillsong.

The “still small voice of God” simply had no chance in all that noise. And I wanted that so badly and was denied.

On the way back, I bumped into 2 church mates. They agreed with me that the noise level was unnecessarily loud (both were fellow doctors). One of them remarked that this style of worship suits the younger generation of Christians and fills a void in the hearts of young people (and by default I was relegated to the non-younger generation). He reasoned that it is probably better for young people to listen to Christian rock than to be influenced by contemporary rock music with its often self-gratifying and vulgar in-you-face content.

He may have a point there although I wonder how one could benefit from loud decibel and decidedly shallow song lyrics (that’s just my view, don’t get all heated up if you disagree).

Still, as a Christian physician I feel that regardless of whether one gets his ears busted by Christian or non-Christian rock music, it’s bad – anatomically, physiologically and physically.

And when heart does not gain from it, then it’s worst.

I was later informed that there are actually 2 distinct groups, Hillsong and Hillsong United and the latter apparently is known by their excessive loud, fast and repetitive music! Had I know Hillsong United was performing instead of Hillsong, I would not have gone for it.

I love a lot of songs by Hillsong but I will probably skip The Aftermath.

Maybe I’m just getting old.

Hard Rock, Melbourne

I went to Hard Rock, Melbourne today.

It’s not the pub, instead it’s a place for rock climbers.

Ironically, the place is just a stone’s throw from where I live and I’ve not, until now, given it a try. That was until 2 weeks ago when a colleague suggested that we go together (you need two persons to rock climb because while one climbs, the other belays). I’ve learned a new word, “Belay” – basically it means you are the guy who prevents your climbing partner from plunging to his death by holding fast to the rope attached to him.

After registration and paying the fees (pretty steep actually at AUD 29 per session – which includes rental of a pair of climbing shoes and harness), we had to go through a 30 minute session with an instructor who taught us everything from the names of the parts on the harness and ropes, tying the 5-paired-figured of 8-knot, to the step-by-step of belaying.  And then we were off!

And what an adrenaline rush it was! I highly recommend it.

After trying a few of the shorter pillars, my partner and I graduated to the taller ones.

Unbelievably I reached the top of this pillar! For a guy who is terrified of height, that’s a great achievement.

Another look at the pillar I managed to scale. Admittedly there were a lot of  ‘stones’ on the face of the pillar to hold or step on to, still, I can’t believe I made it all the way up. After a while, I could only hear my own breathing and the thumping of my heart beat, the cacophony down below became background white noise.

It’s definitely a good hobby to pursue if not for the steep price.

Pity Seremban does not have such facility when I get home.