The Dead Tooth

Ryan’s (my 7-year-old-kid) command of the Malay language has improved by leaps and bounds ever since we started sending him for Malay language tuition. The playtime with the 6-year-old Malay neighbour also helped a bit.

However, it’s still very evident that his Malay still needs quite a bit of work.

For instance, the other day, Ryan’s upper incisor, which has been hanging precariously loosely for days (Ryan’s at an age where his milk teeth are falling faster than you can say ‘Oral B’), so much so that I fear he may choke on the tooth when he sleeps or when he accidentally swallows it, finally came loose while he was in school.

According to him, he was in the toilet and he managed to rush to the sink when the tooth came out and he said, “luckily, the tooth fell on the floor instead of into the sink hole!”.

Luckily…because he knows that he can exchange the tooth for some cold hard cash when the tooth fairy comes a calling at night. (The going rate for an incisor is RM 5 per piece).

Naturally, when he got back to the classroom, the teacher was most horrified to see the front of his white shirt covered with blood!

When asked what happened by the teacher, Ryan with his now much-improved Malay answered:

“Gigi saya sudah mati!” (translated: My tooth died!)

LOL!!!!!

Sigh….it will be a long time before he speaks credible Malay! But, at least he spoke and that’s good.

Mon, 310510 @ 0700

The Cranial Nerves

The other day I was taking some students for their clinical exam and I decided to test them on their skill in examining the Cranial Nerves.

Every medical student worth his salt would have learned this wonderful mnemonic:

“Oh, oh, oh, to touch and feel a girl’s vagina, Ah heaven!” (the guy’s version)

“Oh, oh, oh, to touch and feel a guy’s virility and hams!” (the girl’s version)

“Oh, oh, oh, to touch and feel a green vegetable, Ah heaven!” (the prude’s version)

The mnemonic, of course, was to aid in remembering the 12 nerves which originate from the head (hence, ‘Cranial) and are responsible for anything from facial expressions, to the feeling when one is slapped or punch, to laughter and tears, to kissing, swallowing and sticking out your tongue!

The first 2 students breezed through the exam rather smoothly, completing the entire cranial nerves examinations in less than 10 minutes. Not so for the third who fumbled and stumbled along the way as he tried to recall what each letter of the mnemonic stands for!

And so he went in a barely audible whisper, counting his fingers, in front of the male patient who he was examining…..

“Oh, oh, oh….

to touch…to touch…er… to touch….

….err ….err…..vagina, vagina, vagina……

….heaven! yes heaven! HEAVEN!!!”

LOL!

That’s the peril with mnemonics. Sometimes one ends up remembering the mnemonic but not what it stands for.

Fri, 280510 @ 0700

Oleander Petals

I have just finished reading a novel, the 3rd in a series of 4 books, which dwells into the intricacies of life in ancient Egypt – you know, Pharaohs, Egyptian gods and stuff. The books were written by a well known male author (I dare not name names here, fearing litigation!).

Now, within these books, as in almost all books these days, are pages which are devoted to human intimacy (yes, the ‘S’ word that rhymes with Lex, Text and Fax)!

I came across this particular line which had me laughing like an insane hyena on the brink of having bowel and bladder incontinence and my tears where flowing as freely as the annual inundation of the Nile (pun intended).

Consider this:

“…she gently drew back the skin….and the pink tip popped out, silky as an oleander petal. It stiffened and swelled in her hand until she could barely encompass its girth with her thumb and forefingers.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what that ‘pink tip that popped out’ refers to which part of a man’s anatomy (other than a man’s ego, that’s the only part which can swell and stiffen!)

The part that had me bawling my heart out in myrrh was when the ‘pink tip’ was likened to oleander petals!!! Reading it over and over again makes the hair on my back stand up! *Cringe*

ROFLMAO!!!!!

I have read quite a lot of novels and never have I read of the glans penis being likened to an oleander petal! (I am in tears even as I type this).

In case you have no idea what Oleander Petals look like, here’s a pic:

I don’t know about you but I have NEVER seen a ‘pink tip’ that looks like that and the only ones that looks like that have viral warts on them! LOL!

Mercifully these outrageous descriptions of human body parts are few and far between in the book while the rest were filled with really exciting stuff like magic, sorcery and battles lost and won!

In contrast, the other day, my wife showed me the pages of ‘intimate stuff’ in the book (written by a woman) that she was reading and aitelya!!!, the foreplay itself covered all of 5 pages and even then the clothes have barely come off!!!

So, in conclusion, IMHO, women write better intimate stuff than men coz men wants the quickie version and women wants it long and slow.

I could be wrong…just don’t sue me…please…

Thurs, 270510 @ 0700

Sexy Moves

I spotted this sign board opposite the infamous hotel in Batu Pahat, you know, the hotel where they make home videos of ex-ministers on the 13th floor.

I was in Batu Pahat last week for the Semester 10 student’s CFCS (Community and Family Case Study) exam. I was staying at the same hotel, but on the 11th floor (where they don’t make home videos). ;P

The sign says, “SEKSI TAI CHI” (in Malay), which would translate into ‘Sexy Tai Chi’.

Now, that’s one class I wouldn’t mind enrolling for just so I can learn a few sensual moves! Heh heh…!

Wed, 260510 @ 0700

Going Top End

Jimbo flies to Top End today in Down Under to attend the ASID 2010 where he will be presenting 2 posters bearing part of the results of his research.

Now, if you Google ‘Darwin’, there isn’t really a lot to look forward to, other than the possibility of being struck by lightning as Darwin is arguably the most lightning prone land area in the world! Imagine, in 2 hours, it can have as many as 1,634 lightning strikes!

Which begs the question:

Why have a conference in a place which is as exciting as watching grass grow or bread rise?

I have no idea myself. Probably it is an epic conspiracy to keep everyone WITHIN the conference as people have no where better to go to!

Sigh…

Why can’t they have it in Sydney or Melbourne or even Tasmania?!!!! Gaargh!!!

Psst…I heard there is a nudist beach somewhere near Darwin…heh heh….

Tues, 250510 @ 0700

The Ekiden Run 2010

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Two Sundays ago, I joined 9 other IMU medical students to participate in the Ekiden Run 2010 which was held in Putrajaya in conjunction with the Youth Day celebration.

It was a relay run over 15 km and we went as 2 teams, an all-men team (which I was one of the member) and a mixed-team where there were 4 ladies and 1 guy. The idea was for each of us to run 3 km and pass over the ‘tasuki’ (a sash) to the next runner.

I was placed as the 3rd runner which is probably a very strategic plan. I’m the oldest and probably the most unfit of the lot and placing me as the 3rd runner makes perfect sense. The first 2 fit runners would run as fast as they could, pass me the sash and allow me the lag time in running/walking/crawling/creeping to the next station where I pass the sash to the 4th runner who would make up for lost time!

Now, running 7 km early in the morning was alright with me, which was what I did last November though I almost died and I distinctly remember swearing never to take part in another run again. It was probably a momentary lapse of better judgment that I allowed myself to be enlisted into this run.

Anyway, as I was saying, running is relatively easier when the weather is still cool but on that day, the event started 1 hour later than scheduled (I was told, some blardy VIPs came fashionably late to give their inconsequential speech before the event could be kicked-off) and so by the time the 2nd runner passed me his sash, it was almost 9 am and the morning sun was blazing hot by then!

It took me all of 20 minutes to run and then walk and then crawl the 3 km and then, just as the next station looms near, break out into a final do-or-die dash to pass on the now accursed sash to the 4th runner. (It wouldn’t do to be seen crawling half dead towards the station – very morale busting indeed). The last few meters were fueled by whatever reserves I had still leftover in my geriatric body.

It was the longest 20 minutes of my life. I felt my lungs would burst and the skin on my back was burned red by the merciless sun. I almost threw up after passing the sash but managed to hold the morning’s breakfast in.

When I arrived by bus back to the starting line, I discovered that the rest of the all-men team have completed their route. When I walked up to join them, I noticed they looked at me with a kind of disappointment registered on their faces.

“We didn’t get a medal, sir”, said one of them.
“Apparently, they only give out medals to the top 50 teams”, another added.
“We came in at 51st spot”, declared another.
“I wonder what was the reason we got 51!…*sigh*…”, the first person remarked (with a sly smile).

As it turned out, it was a prank, devised there and then by my 4 other team runners.

Medals were given to ALL runners who completed the relay run.

And my team came in at 49th spot!

Not bad for a team with an old geezer as the 3rd runner.

Mon, 250510 @ 0700

Chicken and Duck Talk

Ryan, my 7-year-old son, has a new playmate and a most unlikely one at that. She is Aisha, the 6-year-old Malay girl who lives across the street and the youngest daughter of the woman Ryan tried to ‘assassinate’ a while ago.

Aisha is one unabashed kid. Right from day 1, she has made herself comfortable with our home. She would sneak behind you and announce in a very loud voice, “HELLO UNCLE!!! RYAN ADA?” (Hello, Uncle, is Ryan in?) and would promptly make her way into the house without waiting for an answer.

Ryan takes to her presence well (at least he hasn’t hit her…yet) and they would play with Lego blocks, or toy cars or planes, or go outside to blow soap bubbles into the evening breeze; all the while babbling quite animatedly to each other.

There is one problem:

Ryan speaks good English and is almost hopeless in Malay.
Aisha speaks perfect Malay and could mutter a few English words.

In other words, they are like a chicken talking to a duck.

But looking at them play and ‘talk’ to each other, you wouldn’t think it’s a problem at all.

Wed, 190510 @ 0700

Beg or Bag?

I spotted this boo-boo at the pharmacy counter of our hospital.

I always thought the Malay word for ‘Bag’ is Beg’ but I could be wrong so don’t take my word for it. Anyone else ‘beg’ to differ? :p

Tues, 180510 @ 0700

International AIDS Memorial Day 2010

Last Saturday, I attended the International AIDS Memorial Day event at Hospital Sg Buloh. It is an annual event held all over the world, in memory of people with HIV who has passed away in the past year. The last time I attended such an event was back in 2008.

Hmm, I wonder if anyone noticed that the spelling for LIGHTS was wrong!

This year, the crowd was decidedly larger than 2 years ago. The event was organized by KLASS (Kuala Lumpur AIDS Support Society) and the ID team in Sg Buloh Hospital. It was a by-invitation-only closed door event. I was honoured to be invited to participate in the event.

Back in 2008, the mood was more somber and tears flowed freely as people with HIV infection shared about their experiences and as we stood in silence to remember those we have lost to the disease. This time round, the mood, to me at least, was more cheerful. The theme this time was ‘Many Lights for Human Rights’.

There were songs (by a local celebrity as well as by doctors and patients alike); there was a time of sharing where 3 brave souls with HIV being probably the only thing they have in common, stepped up to share of their experiences in life; there was poetry recited and this time we also honored 3 specially chosen people who have dedicated their lives to care for people living with HIV and AIDS (PLWHA)

My role that day, other than being an invitee, was to honour one such person: Matron Hwong Li Li who has been working as a counselor in the ID clinic in Hospital Seremban for almost a decade and have dedicated a better part of her life to the welfare of PLWHA.

I also had the opportunity to catch up with my fellow colleagues who are fighting the same war in other hospitals. I even had the privilege of meeting some people whom I have never met before. One such person was a HIV + man who has been trying for the better part of 2 years to see me in the clinic but to no avail. It was good to finally meet him and even better to know that he is doing well on HAART.

Another surprise was to meet a total stranger after the event who came up to me and asked, “Excuse me, are you Jimbo? The writer of that blog? I read your blog everyday!”.

Small world indeed.

The best and saddest part for me, as always, was the time we all stood in silence, passing a lit candle around as names of people with HIV/AIDs who have passed on flashed on the large screen ahead. I am saddened that the list does not seem to grow any shorter.

I think Dr Christopher Lee (Head of Infectious Diseases Team, Hospital Sg Buloh and widely respected as the ‘Father of HIV medicine’ in Malaysia, and a person I greatly respect and look up to) summed it up best when he gave his closing speech. He said:

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think we need to do this every year. Because I NEED THIS.”

I agree wholeheartedly. After a while, and after a lot of frustrations and disappointments working in the field of HIV medicine, it’s easy to lose focus and get discouraged. Events like this one helps me to regain my focus and reignite afresh the passion within to continue the work.

I left the event abruptly that day, because I had to rush elsewhere. But I left feeling touched and encouraged.

Mon, 170510 @ 0800

Mostly appreciated

I spotted this sign at one of my favorite haunt for a quick cuppa at UMMC.

The English translation of the Malay sentence “Kerjasama dari pihak pelanggan amatlah dihargai” was written as ” We mostly appreciate your kind understanding”.

I don’t know about you, but the English translation made me feel somehow a little less appreciated!

Fri, 140510 @ 0815