Jimbo discovered a new disease while doing the night round yesterday. It’s called:
CEREBRAL INFART*
Synonyms:
1. Air Head
2. Cranial Colonic Gas Expulsion Syndrome (CRCOGES)
3. Reverse Fart
4. Retropulsive Methane Expulsion Syndrome
5. Butt Head
6. Cranial Boborygmi
Signs and symptoms:
1. Bloated abdomen with chronic constipation
2. A sense of gas uprising
3. Sudden sense of fullness of the head
4. Bulging eye balls
5. Ringing sensation in the ears
6. Severe throbbing headache
7. Foul smelling gas emitting from cranial orifices
8. Loud hissing sounds from cranial orifices
Complications:
Sudden massive expulsion of colonic gas through all cranial orifices, much like a geyser, only much worst and a lot more smelly. Usually not fatal unless near fire.
See also:
Outfart - Opposite of ‘Infart’, the natural bowel gas expulsion via the rear end. May contribute significantly to global warming. May cause grievous injury if near fire (see picture above); in which case, the condition may be termed as ‘Hot Ass’.
Myocardial infartion – collection of bowel gas in the heart chambers
Pulmonary infartion – collection of bowel gas in the lungs
Condition with same name:
Cerebral In Fart – the unpleasant exposure of one’s head to a sudden blast of bowel gas from another person; usually happens while climbing stairs, elevators (in this case, small children standing behind a flatulent adult), mountain climbing, porn movie gone really really wrong, etc.
Wed, 170909 @ 0700
*for non-medical people, the correct spelling should be ‘Infarction’ (pronounced In-fark-sion) which would mean a sudden blockage of the supplying blood vessel. In this case, a cerebral infarction would mean a stroke.
