Blind leading the blind

Very recently, Jimbo sat for more than an hour with a man in his clinic. The patient is young, in his early 30s, and deeply depressed.

A few years ago, he was diagnosed with HIV overseas. He was started on treatment at the time and eventually came back to Malaysia. He did not have any opportunistic infections. Life went on as usual and he continued with his active lifestyle, especially in athletics and sports.

Because he felt well, he began to slack off on his HIV medications and eventually stopped them altogether.

Over time his immune system deteriorated and then last year he fell sick. His vision began to deteriorate. By the time he presented to the hospital, Cytomegalovirus have taken away most of his sight and a bacteria was causing havoc with his lungs. He had to be hooked on a ventilator for respiratory support.

At death’s door, he finally told the first person in his family that he has the dreaded disease.

Miraculously he was nursed back to health.

With a new HIV regimen, he made good recovery. His CD4 began to climb again but is still under 200 cells/ml.

Despite daily intravenous ganciclovir, his eyesight failed to improve and he is unlikely to see again.

His siblings (who did not know he has HIV) threatened to sue the hospital for ’suboptimal treatment’ but finally backed off when they found out the truth.

Medically, one might say he is ‘well’.

But as he sat there with Jimbo, there are so many things that are not well:
1. His eye sight will never get better
2. His mother, not knowing his real condition, is worried sick about him and dotes on him; which annoys him greatly
3. His other family members who do not know about his condition, pesters him repeatedly to get a ‘better doctor’ or ‘a second opinion’
4. His work colleagues, also in the dark, cannot understand why he refuses to claim his insurance for disability due to blindness
5. His boss, also his personal friend, is very adamant to get him to a better eye doctor in Singapore or Australia
6. His money is all tied up in a fund overseas which cannot be withdrawn till he is 50
7. He has no work
8. He has no plans
9. He is getting fat due to lack of exercise and plenty of mother-fed diet
10. He has refused referrals to NGOs or societies to help him cope with his visual impairment
11. He has become a burden to those siblings who know about his condition but can’t tell others
12. Efforts to convince him to tell others have been met with a definite “NO”

“It’s ok, doctor. I can bear this burden myself. I am used to it. I am an introvert since childhood. I just keep quiet, keep it all inside. I want to spare my family the shame and ridicule. What will society think of them even after I am gone? How will they face their relatives and friends knowing that they have a HIV+ family member?”

Those were his last words just before he got up and was helped out of the clinic.

And throughout that 1 hour, Jimbo couldn’t offer much except a listening ear. There was one time during that 1 hour, for a brief moment, his patient smiled. It was the first time Jimbo saw him smile.

You can heal the body, but how do you heal the soul?
How do you bring light to the darkened world of a blind man?

Wed, 150709 @ 0800