I woke up on Tuesday having a bad feeling in my heart. Just a week before, my car stalled on the fast lane and it took a full (unproductive) day before my car would run again. I thought to myself, “it can’t possibly happen again, right?”

But you know how life is, and what Murphy’s law dictates.

Let’s just say, if the engine is to a car what the heart is to a human, then, my car had a massive heart attack on Tuesday.

I was driving happily to KL on that fateful day when I smelled something funny coming out of the air con vents. A few moments later, I heard a knocking sound. Sensing something was very wrong, I quickly pulled the car to the side. Just as I rolled onto the emergency lane on the super-busy highway, my car stalled and smoke started billowing from under the hood.

I went like, “Oh God, this is not happening again!!!”

This time, I kept a cool head since I wasn’t obstructing traffic. I made a number of calls, mainly to my foreman in Seremban and he made a telediagnosis ~ the engine overheated. He said to wait till he arranged for a tow truck to come pick up my car AND warned me not to allow any other people offer to repair my car.

Sure enough, like vultures to carrion, mechanics, pseudo-mechanics, and tow truck operators suddenly appeared out of nowhere! One got close enough to my car to open the engine cap and promptly asked me to smell it. He then declared that the “gaskets are all gone”. He offered to repair the whole thing including tow charges for RM 160!

I was sceptical as it’s like being offered a cardiac bypass for RM 50. Hardly plausible. I politely declined his offer and mentioned that my mechanic is on his way.

I also called the PLUS highway patrol. Two very under-exercised personnel came in a truck belonging to the highway company and also made a diagnosis of “gaskets all gone”. They then offered to call in a tow truck operator. I declined as well because by then my tow truck was already on its way.

With nothing to do, I sat down by the road side to wait.

It’s amazing what one sees on the highway when one is stranded.

Like traffic speeding past you at break neck speed. I was glad my car didn’t stall on the fast lane.

Scenery I took for granted because most times I was speeding as well.

Such a contrast to the busy highway just next to it.

You notice things like trees and metal poles of highway lights.

And even small white sign boards denoting the distance of the highway. I noticed this sign after the receptionist at PLUS asked me to look for it and tell him what was written on it! This one says ‘298.6′. I guess it means I was somewhere at the 298.6th km on the long highway. Funny I never noticed such signs before when I was driving.

Heck, one even notice the grass and dead leaves.

After what seemed like an eternity (50 minutes actually), the tow truck came. It was a pretty fanciful one (read: sure to cost a bomb). The tow truck operator was friendly (as any vampire would be before biting its victims) and we chatted (or shouted) over the din of his truck engine all the way back to Seremban.

At the workshop, the mechanic did a once-over my car. The diagnosis?

“Gaskets all gone” (hmmm, this must be the car equivalent to an Acute Myocardial Infarction”)

It’s in the car ICU now. He said the radiator must either have sprung a leak or the internal pipings must have blocked up, thus preventing water from cooling the engine, resulting in an overheated engine resulting in a complete meltdown and “gaskets all gone”.

He explained what he would do over the next few days (minimum 2 days). He warned that despite the best repair effort, the engine would be “fragile and will not be the same anymore”.

I guess it’s true, a bypassed heart will never be as good as new.

We didn’t discuss the cost. (I heard it will probably cost more than 1K)

That would be quite painful on my heart.

And so, to finance the payment of the car repair, I am now auctioning the following to the highest bidder:
1. My left kidney
2. My left family jewel (apparently one is enough and I have completed my family, I just need it for the male hormone production bit)
3. The left lobe of my liver
4. Stem cells from my marrow
5. My left parotid gland (one should be enough to produce all the saliva I need)
6. Both tonsils (I don’t really need them)
7. My entire DNA sequence (in case any one wants an ID physician clone for a kid ~ I was pretty well behaved when I was a kid, barring a few near-catastrophe).

Any takers?

Fri, 240708 @ 0700

Updated: The cost of repair will be RM 6 K and the ICU stay will be a week! I am offering the right kidney as well. Charitable donations are welcome.