Cryptic Message

I received this cryptic message in my phone a couple of days ago from an unknown number. My guess is it’s probably vietnamese. I called the number but there was no reply. Anyway, here is the message:

chi hue oi chi co dem theo ao dong phuc chua vay chuc hai nguoi o ben nhau hanh phuc nha duoc gan ng yeu vui roi con toi nho ng yeu buon muon chet day ne

I tried an online translation service and this is what I got:

membrum màu sắc suffocatingly membrum shrink dem according to birch-rod glad hepatic service duoc ng yeu arrow-root pond phuc sour that borrow bel auntie from chuc two nguoi together cold and dry phuc wastes ng yeu buon muon chet ngày ne grape 

From what I gather, it’s probably someone soliciting business offering some form of:

‘membrane sac shrinkage service through suffocation using a birch-rod (whatever that is) and pond arrow-shoot (again, don’t ask me what that is) that makes the liver happy (?healthy). This service apparently needs some kind of borrowing of a bell from a sour auntie from ‘chuc-two-nguoi’ and has dry and cold waste products associated with grapes’.

I lost interest already.

Anyone has better luck translating it, please let me know.

Merdeka’s half done. Still on call. Bleh….

Happy 50th Birthday Malaysia!

It’s your birthday today, my beloved country.

I’d love to write you a song and even rap it out! But, er…. I don’t think that’s such a good idea anymore; maybe when you turn 100, it would be acceptable (not that I can rap decently anyway).

Anyhow, I still love you, there isn’t any other.

Happy 50th Birthday!

Merdeka 2007… and on call! Bleh!

Millionaire by 30

They say one indicator of success is making the first million bucks by the time a person reaches 30 years old.

I have a few friends who has done just that (not sure if their million bucks is in Ringgit or US dollars!) and they seem pretty successful. I am happy for them.

Well, I’m way past 30 and so far I’ve made….well, TWO KIDS!

I doubt I will make my first million bucks in the near future.

But I think my two kids are worth more than that, surely.

Thurs, 300807 @ 1944; pre-Merdeka and I don’t feel much like celebrating.

Unity Speech

I might as well tell you about this one since I have been talking about speakers who have made an impression on me.

This incident happened when I was an undergrad at a local university (a million years ago) and it was at the campus’ Christian Fellowship gathering. The occasion was the handing over of the leadership to a fresh batch of leaders.

The new leader, a fine Chinese chap, all heart for God and servitude to Him, gave a long passionate speech about Christian unity and he urged all the students there to unite as one in faith. It was hard for him to give the speech as he had to speak in Malay.

He was indeed all heart for God but a little deficient in the Malay language department for he ended his speech with the following exortation:

“Saudara- saudari, marilah kita bersetubuh!!!”

The hall fell silent. Here and there, we could hear stifled laughters and short bursts of giggles. 

I nearly choked on my saliva and died. My friend sitting beside me had to pinch me hard so that I wouldn’t burst out in laughter like a orgasmic hyena in heat!

For those of you who are also deficient in Malay, this is the translation of what he said:

“Brothers and sisters, let us have (sexual) intercourse!!!”

I believe he meant well and his heart was pure. I am sure what he wanted to say was “Saudara-saudari, marilah kita berSATU” which means ‘united’.

Still, the incident stuck to my mind to this day. I don’t think anyone ever corrected him. Poor guy. I hope he won’t be giving a speech in Malay in our Parliament some day.

Wed, 290807 @ 2113

 

Obstetrics Cocktail

One speaker at the meeting I attended last weekend really had us in stitches. He was giving a lecture on Update on Post-Exposure Prophylaxis for HIV and he was trying to tell us what are the types of body fluids that are considered infective by narrating his own experience. This was what he said:

“I still remember when I was a house officer and I was delivering this

very pregnant woman and suddenly her waterbag burst and I drank a few

mouthful of VAGINAL FLUID!!”

Some one at the back said loudly “I think you meant liquor* !!!”

Another shouted “Yeah, it’s called amniotic fluid and not vaginal fluid !!”

We all burst out laughing.

An ID physician drinking vaginal fluid. Think about it….

Everybody together now…”EEEEeeeeeeeeeWWWWWwwwwwwwwww !!!!!”

Tues, 280807 @ 2120

*liquor: what we doctors call amniotic fluid.

Grim Reminder

Something a speaker said got stuck in my mind at the recent ‘Weekend with ART’ meeting that I attended over the weekend. She said this:

“To most HIV patients the treatment

is a constant reminder of their condition.”

And I think that is very true. I think even patients with DM, hypertension or heart diseases will feel the same way but perhaps not to the deep extent of a HIV+ patient.

Tues, 280807 @ 0758

ART: Anti-retroviral therapy

DM: Diabetes Mellitus

Sickly Pink

I just came back from collecting my convocation gown. The schedule said the counters will be opened at 9 am and when I reached there at 9.03.34 am there were already about 40 fellas in front of me! Good grief! And I thought I am the kiasu one!

As to be expected with anything remotely related to the civil service, the line was painfully slow. First we had to line up to check if we owe the university any money (I think they owe me something like RM 800 and I’m not sure how to get it back). After that we have to fill up an online questionnaire by the Ministry of Education which is compulsory. Thankfully I did it beforehand online (it was 7 pages long!).

Most of the questions were about our satisfaction (or not) with the course and whether there are any possibilities of us dumping this almost 50 year old country for greener pastures abroad. I answered almost everything by ticking ‘not applicable’.

Next we had to go collect our gowns. It took 2 persons to get me a suitable gown, 2 persons to get me a mortar board, 1 person to get the sash, 2 persons to hand me my parking card and invitation card, 4 persons to sort out my graduant card (pretty nifty thing because when you go up the stage, you just wave it at a small port and a voice will boom out your name! I think I will wave mine a few times just for good measure!), and finally 1 person to hand me a paper bag. I think the last guy must be an expert  because he was the fastest of the lot.

I was aghast to see that the colour for Masters in Medicine is PINK!!!! Gross man! And a sickly shade of pink too. Why? Why? Why GOD?!!! If I had known it would be pink, I may not have started the course at all 4 years ago. It’s the ultimate humiliation.

Sickly emaciated toxic looking kinda pink. Ugh!

Which now begs the question: Should I or should I not attend the convocation ceremony? I can think of a few pros and cons.

Pros:

1. I get to take photographs with my fellow graduants (assuming they are going)

2. Er… I can’t think of anything else.

Cons:

1. I gotta wear that ghastly pink!

2. I have to wear 4 layers of fabrics (shirt, suit, gown and that ghastly pink thing)

3. I am heat-intolerant (see above)

4. I am expected to sit through at least 3 hours of speeches and boring music and go up for my 15 secs of glory receiving a blank piece of paper

5. I am given a chance to purchase ‘professional’ shots of myself which will cost 1 year of my kid’s tuition fees

6. I can’t bring my parents, wife and kids in (only given 2 passes)

7. I will have to be there at 7.30 am!

8. The chance of getting a parking space within walking distance from the venue will be virtually zero

9. I will get hungry and therefore get a huge migrane attack

10. I don’t think my bladder can hold for 3 hours (I could barely sit through Lord of the Rings Part 3)

11. And that PINK THING!!! GGGaaarrgh!!!!

I can’t decide. How?

Tell me what you think…

Mon, 270807 @ 1326; I knew I should have taken a full day’s leave instead of half day.

44,444

One week before my blog clocked 88,888 hits, my car clocked 44,444. I was on my way to KL at the time and decided to stop by the side so I can take this pic.

I continued on my journey and was thinking in my mind, if I were to be a superstitious Chinese, I would probably say it’s real unlucky to have a series of 4′s displaced on my speedometer. Not far from where I stopped, it turned out that I was not the unlucky one.

I sent this pic to The STAR hoping to win RM 50 (the kid’s piano lesson fee is due) but they didn’t print it. Their loss.

The traffic came to almost a stand still (because of many kay-po-chees who slowed to look at the overturned Proton Gen 2 on the left lane. Another 2 very badly damaged cars were parked further in front.

As I drove past, I noticed something on the road, and it looked like a SCALP to me! Ugh! I hope it wasn’t human in origin. Perhaps the cars were trying to avoid a monkey trying to cross the highway and ended in a pile-up. I didn’t get the chance to snap a pic of my gruesome find.

Sat, 250807 @ 1810

kay-po-chees: Malaysian colloquial for busy-bodies.

Blog Demise

So sad, one of my favourite blog which I stalk (wow! it rhymes!) has vanished from cyberspace. Sigh.

It’s been great reading your blog, eve. Not sure why the blog is gone. Hope you will resurface again soon.

Sat, 250807 @ 0709; I really hate hotel air conditioning. Switched on it’s too cold, off and it’s too warm.

Prophylactics

I’m in KL for an ID Meeting over the weekend and staying at the One World Hotel. It’s a brand new 5 star hotel which just opened last month. It’s just next to the One Utama Shopping Paradise.

The first thing that caught my eye when I first checked into my room was this:

A packet of Durex Featherlite Prophylactics! (okay, okay, cOnDoMs! There, I said it).

This is the first hotel that I’ve stayed in that has this in the coffee bar! Kids would think it’s balloons! My friend told me these are standard offerings in most hotels in Thailand.

I checked the price and it’s RM25 per packet!!!

I’d rather use a plastic bag.

Sat, 250807 @ 0023