As I Reflect…

Actually reflect is hardly the word to describe it. I think, as I “zoom-reflect” over the year that is coming to an end..I think I can heave a big sigh of relief. I doubt that over the next few days I would actually have anytime to just sit back in a quiet place, open my journal (the old diary..been keeping one since I was 12 years old) and just reflect. My kid is starting school tomorrow, then my in laws will be back from Perth this weekend and I still have to do one more ward round on Saturday. I can foresee a lot of driving and very little time for anything else ( did I mention I hate driving?).

I used to do that u know, I mean, reflect. Back when I was a young guy, no commitments, no screaming and crying kids fighting over the darn plastic figurine of Peter (from Narnia) dished out with the Mac Donald’s Happy Meal (How can they call it “Happy” when I don’t even feel any sort of elation!), no house chores to do, no calling the painter to paint my old house with flaky paint on the walls, no mounting credit card bills to pay, no Christmas tree to take down (it’s double the time and half the fun compared to putting it up), no New Year dinners to attend, no church service to go to (where I will be again reminded of my “covenant” with God last year which I have broken by February 2005, or was it earlier?), no sheer fatigue from work, no worrying over my thesis (oh, btw, I got another 8 patients today…only 961 to go!), etc etc..

Yup, it was just me and the quiet moments then. Me and my God. I could go through all my triumphs and failures, tell them to God, beg for forgiveness, pour out my gratitude to Him for His mercies and blessings, resolve to start anew, asking for strength to be a better person.

I am not complaining. I love my family and kids. They are the best part of my life! And the commitments that come with them are a given. I gladly take them up.

So, in a super-duper zoom reflection, I think the year has been a good year. Well, I did PASS my exam!! I swear it had to be the worst exam I have ever taken in my life! Only by God’s grace did I pass. I did mature and move on in many ways. My kids have given me so much joy. My wife has been a pillar of strength to me. It is also a joy to see my patients get well. Even more joyful when they remember me quite some time later even when all I could remember of them is a vague feeling I have seen them before (sort of like dejavu). The gratefulness in their eyes more than compensate any short comings of working in the civil service.

But I have lost many patients too. I have seen a lot of grief in their loved ones left behind. I have stood alongside wailing families strickened with grief when told that the one they love was no longer here. I have had problems in my family too. My kids have this capacity toof being angels one second and behaving like primates the next. My wife and I had our fair share of quarrels and misunderstandings. I have compromised on my principles and beliefs many times, each time scarring my heart just that little bit more. I had ran very fast, many times..but in the wrong direction. I have changed. We all have. It’s inevitable.

So, as the year draws to an end…I thank God. I thank Him for a wonderful year, a year with many ups and downs, joys and sorrows, blessings and despairs, for my family, for my work which I so enjoy, for my parents who still treat me like a 5 year old (all guys need to be pampered once in a while), my brother who so gladly let me take up a room in his house in KL, my friends who supported me, prayed for me, cheered me on, my patients who unknowingly have rewarded me with much joy just by getting well, my superiors who guided me, my fellow colleagues who are a pleasure to work and fight with (heh heh!)…but most of all, I thank God for being there for me, all the time.

We all change, I am so glad that God is unchanging. And because He is unchanging, His love for me, His grace and mercy for me, His pleasure in me, cannot be any MORE or any LESS than the day when I first came into this world, kicking and screaming! Thank you Lord. He had me at Hello…

Happy New Year to all of you! The New Year will surely bring with it new challenges, new possibilities and new surprises aplenty! Can’t wait!

Ok…time to make a new COVENANT.

THESIS

On MC today…just feel so horrible. Not sure if it’s the post Christmas celebration or what. My body aches, my head weighs a ton, my eyes burn, I can feel a fever, my throat is parched and there’s a hint of a cough coming. Arrgh!

So I had to take a Medical Leave today. The weather must be reflecting my condition,it hasn’t stopped drizzling since morning. Sigh! I did take the opportunity to clean up my room. Something I have been putting off since the exam got over. The amount of dust collected is unbelieveable! And the amount of medical notes I have tucked away in every nook and cranny is just amazing! I even found my John Denver MP3 collection at the back of some files!

Ok, Ok, the guy’s dead and his songs aren’t exactly contemporary. But in his life time he did write and sang a few songs that really touched me. Ever listened to the lyrics? Listening to his sonngs usually transport me, in my mind, to some high mountain somewhere where there is peace and serenity. There I am at peace, I feel happy and I feel closer to God.

Anyway, now that I have a bit of time, and my head is a little less heavy (after the panadol I took), I start to think about my thesis. In my final year, I have to do a dissertation. The topic of my thesis is “The Prevalence of Erectile Dysfunction Amongst Patients with Ischemic Heart Disease”. Or simply put in layman’s terms “How Many Guys with a Heart Problem also have a Woody Problem”

The plan of attack was to recruit male patients attending the heart disease clinic in my hospital. My target is to get about 1000 patients! And I had hoped to finish it by June next year. Looking at the yield I have now from the last 3 weeks, no one can fault me for being pessimistic. So far I only managed to get 31 patients. That’s an average of 8 patient per clinic, a far cry from the target of 20 patients per clinic! Sigh!

So,I have decided to start a count down here. I am being optimistic here. Another way to look at it is to say “there’re only 969 patients more to recruit!!!!”. Expect me to metamorphosize from cool to worried to panic and hysterical when the dateline draws near!!!! Gulp!

Suicides

I see at least 2 to 3 patients in my ward EACH day who are admitted for an overdose of this or that substance in an attempt to kill themselves. Of course they were unsuccessful (otherwise, they would be in the morgue instead of my ward). The favourite sunstances ingested are Paracetamol (Panadol), Insecticides, Pesticides, Herbicides, Sleeping tablets, Medications belonging to a close relative, the occasional Chlorox, hair dye, shampoo etc etc.

The story is always the same. The psychiatrists call it a stressor. A nice clinically sterile word to convey “cause of suicide”. From my experience, the main stressor is some kind of relationship problem. The stories range from the scolding from a loved one or figure of authority to the love triangle/quadrangle/hexa-angle…whatever, gone wrong. I once attended to a guy whose partner (another guy) was having an affair with A who had an affair with B and C while C secretly loves A. There was also D, E and F all thrown into a very very complicated web of intrigue. The most frequent stressor has to be the betrayal from a spouse or boy/girl friend when their infidelity were discovered.

Other causes include the loss of job, the pressure from loan sharks, overwhelming stress at work, depression…the list is long. But the root is the same. It’s a sense of overwhelming loss, of utter abandonment and loneliness. Suicides, not surprisingly, tend to peak in the festive periods. And this Christmas is no exception. There’s also the New Year and then the Chinese New Year coming ahead!

Much of the time, when I see them in the ward, I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I just don’t know how to help them. It would be too physically and emotionally taxing. So, I maintain a clinical distance. Sort out the physical damage done by the substances ingested (for example, panadol in excess of 10 tablet (5 gram) would damage the liver) and leave the psychology part to my fellow colleagues in psychiatry. I know they don’t do much either. Much of the time, it a prescription for anti-depressant of some sort is given.

The physical is taken care of. The emotional may be palliated. The spiritual is ignored.

Do I feel for them? God knows I do. I quote the cliche phrase…”Been there, done that”. Yes, I do. I understand the tremendous amount of pain and stress that must have driven them to the point where they want to end it all. I have felt that way before. I was “lucky”. I have God. I have a brother who quietly sat with me in a car at a parking lot years ago while I poured out my anguish, despair and frustration. I had hit rock bottom.

A lot of people think these people are stupid to attempt to kill themselves. Religion says its a sin. Some times I feel that way too. Sometimes I just want to grab my patients by the arms and shake some senses into them! But until you have been there yourself, you will never understand the utter hopelessness that they feel.

God is good to me. I pray for my patients, may they also find hope in the midst of their despair. May they have some one who could sit there and listen and pray for them. Some one to weather the storm with them. Someone to tell them “it’s okay, I am here for you, we will work this through this together”. May they find God. After all, when you have hit rock bottom, the only way to go is UP!

A Man Who Spoke What’s In My Heart

I subscribe emails from a group on Yahoogroups. The owner of the group writes an inspirational email once a week, mainly to encourage us who are Christians on our own personal pilgrimage. Below is his Christmas message:

GRACE@WORK MAIL 51/05
[December 23rd 2005 Edition]

eCOMMENTARY: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas…

Did you know that:

*Men and women who felt the most loved and supported had
substantially less blockage in their coronary arteries.

*Men and women with heart disease who were single and lacked
confidants were three times as likely to have died after
five years.

*Married men who feel that their wives showed them love had
significantly less angina.

The above findings were quoted by Dean Ornish, Clinical
professor of medicine at the University of California San
Francisco [Dean Ornish, “Love Is Real Medicine” Newsweek
International Edition, October 17 th 2005, 39]. In his
article, Ornish says:

“Medicine today focuses primarily on drugs and surgery,
genes and germs, microbes and molecules. Yet love and
intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what
makes us well.
[Therefore] when we understand the connection between how we
live and how long we live, its easier to make different
choices. Instead of viewing the time we spend with friends
and family as luxuries, we can see that these relationships
are among the most powerful determinants of our well being
and survival.”

This seems like a lot of work and a lot of words to confirm
what God had told us a long, long time ago. That it was not
good for man to be alone. [I secretly believe that given
enough time, science will support all that is already in the
bible.]
Which is why Christmas is such a devastating time for many,
especially in countries and societies where Christmas is
also the time for family reunions.

For many, it suddenly hits home that they have no families
to go home to, and the many who do, prefer not to precisely
because they know what is waiting for them at home.

It is truly tragic that humanity pours so much effort and
resources to tackle a myriad of problems but ignore such a
fundamental one — the loneliness of modern man.
If modern life is characterized primarily by individualism,
competition and isolation, then more and more of us are
going to be sick.

I also suspect there is a more prior and more fundamental
loneliness at work. As James Houston puts it, “If it is true
that God made us for himself, then without God we are bound
to live with an underlying frustration and unhappiness.”

Perhaps one of the reasons we are so frustrated with human
relationships is that we expect our human companions to meet
that need we have for divine companionship and invariably
they fail. We lash out in our frustration and lose even the
human companions we have.

It would seem to make sense then that we address this prior
loneliness apart from which we can never be completely
connected to anyone else.
Jesus said: “Now this is eternal life:that they know you,
the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you sent.” [John
17:3 TNIV]
The only way to cure our basic loneliness is to enter into a
relationship, i.e. know, the living God through Jesus
Christ.
Many do not know God and so loneliness is pandemic
especially at Christmas.
The media recognizes this.

One of my all time favourite X-Files Episode is “How The
Ghosts Stole Christmas” [Season 6, Episode 6]. In this
episode, Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin guest star brilliantly as
two ghosts that appear only on Christmas eve to hammer home
the utter loneliness of human existence to any couple
staying in the house they haunted, thereby driving the
couple to despair and suicide.

Here is the dialogue that introduces the ghosts in question.

Mulder: “Christmas, 1917. It was a time of dark, dark
despair. American soldiers were dying at an ungodly rate in
a war-torn Europe while at home, a deadly strain of the flu
virus attacked young and old alike. Tragedy was a visitor on
every doorstep while a creeping hopelessness set in with
every man, woman and child. It was a time of dark, dark
despair.”
Scully: “You said that.”
Mulder: “But here at 1501 Larkspur Lane for a pair of
star-crossed lovers tragedy came not from war or pestilence
— not by the boot heel or the bombardier — but by their own
innocent hand.”
Scully: “Go on.”
Mulder: “His name was Maurice. He was a… a brooding but
heroic young man beloved of Lyda, a sublime beauty with a
light that seemed to follow her wherever she went. They were
likened to two angels descended from heaven whom the gods
could not protect from the horrors being visited upon this
cold, grey earth.”
Scully: “And what happened to them?”
Mulder: “Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a
lovers’ pact, so that they might spend eternity together and
not spend one precious Christmas apart.”
Scully: “They killed themselves?”
Mulder: “And their ghosts haunt this house every Christmas
Eve.”

[Disclaimer: I don't believe in ghosts as they are usually
portrayed in the entertainment media though I do believe in
evil spirits. Yes, you can delete that email you were about
to send to rebuke my allusion to ghosts.]

The episode also uses the song “Have Yourself A Merry Little
Christmas” to powerful effect. It gets my vote for saddest
song ever, well at least saddest Christmas song.

Christmas is also such a lonely time because the slogans of
the season promise so much yet many of us experience our
lives as being so far removed from what is promised in the
slogans.
This is truly ironic because one of the names of the person
who came at Christmas two thousand years ago is Immanuel,
God with us.

The God of Christmas is not a God who stays far away. This
is a God who knows our need for connecting to Him and to
others. After all he made us. And He does not want us to be
alone. Hence He came to us.
He is indeed knocking on the doors of our hearts.
But we often treat him as some ghostly figure, hoping that
if we ignore Him He will go away.

But Jesus is no ghost. On the contrary, He rose from the
dead to show that He has triumphed over death and despair
and stands ready with the gifts of life and love, knocking.
And if He is not in our lives, we will always be
divine-lonely.

Christians too need to discover and rediscover this truth.
Often we have invited Jesus into our lives but keep Him in
our heads. So many of us live Christian lives defined by
doctrine and activism and wonder why we are as lonely as the
rest of the world.

Why don’t we do something radical this Christmas.
Instead of our usual rushing around to the never ending
round of church Christmas activities, why don’t we carve out
a quiet moment alone or with a few good friends, and commune
with the God in our hearts.

And instead of badgering our non Christian friends to
another glitzy bells and whistle Christmas evangelistic
programme, why don’t we invite one to a cup of coffee and
ask how they are doing and take the time to listen to the
answers.

Give him or her the gifts of love, hearing, focus, and the
time that makes it happen.
Who knows, he or she may take a second look at the Jesus you
claim dwells in your heart.
Because your friend really isn’t interested in the one that
dwells in the mall.

People are not dying for lack of entertainment,
ecclesiastical or otherwise. They are dying for love.
They need to know His Name is Immanuel.
They need to know Him.

Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan

Write me!
At: sooinn@graceatwork.org

PS. Advent Greetings!
To all readers of this column, I wish a blessed Christmas!
Thank you for journeying with me through the ecommentaries.
May the reality of God and His love be more real to you this
Christmas and the year ahead!

Desperate Housewives

Have been spending the last week or so watching the first season of Desperate Housewives on DVD, courtesy of the ever resourceful Maz. It’s another one of the shows that I had to stop myself from watching when I was preparing for my exam. Ironically, I got hooked on DH WHILE preparing for the exam. It used to come on at 10.30 pm on Tuesdays, right about the time when I would be exhausted from studying and taking a break. I never got to finish a single episode, guilt being the prime emotion I felt then. I mean, what’s more important than studying then? Not even the sight of 4 very very VERY beautiful women on the series was about to tempt me off my studies.

Ah, but NOW….the exam seems like a distant memory. And so, whenever I had the time in the night, I would treat myself to an episode or two of DH. Compared to LOST (which I haven’t finished btw…because my better half wants to watch it first), DH seems a trifle trivial and even SHALLOW. Ah, but what great fun! The lines spewed out by friends and nemesis alike were wickedly funny to say the least. I suspect the series is so popular simply because, despite all its frivolity, the characters speak to each one of us.

Some how or other, we can identify with any one of the characters there in the show. My better half so identify with Lynnette. Even to the extend of asking me “Do I smell bad?” after watching the episode where Lynnette’s hubby complained that she smelled bad when he was romancing her. She smelled bad because she was up all day taking care of 3 little brats… I meant boys and a baby who kept throwing up on her. I reassured her that she doesn’t smell bad though occasionally her fingers do smell of garlic or onion in bed. It doesn’t turn me off. In fact, it made me more appreciative of her as these were the very hands that prepared a lovely dinner earlier. I have peeled onions and garlic before and trust me, the smell stays a long long time!

Who do I identify with? A bit of everyone I guess. Let me tell you who are my favourite characters. I think Lynnete’s husband (Tom I think) is a superb man. And he does so LOVE his wife, smell and all. But the character that I really admire is ….no, not Gabby, though she has such a lovely face and superb body…but CARLOS! Yup, Gabby’s hubby! Why? I know he isn’t really a saint. We all know he isn’t. But up to the episode that I have watched so far, he came across as some one who worked so hard to give his wife everything that she desires. He truly loves his wife and unfortunately is in constant fear that his beautiful wife would two time him. And Gabby was truly a two-timing materialistic woman! She had an affair with John, her young handsome latino gardener. Of course Carlos doesn’t know about it. I expect, if he had known, he wouldn’t be quite so loving.

Which reminds me of a character right out of the Old Testament in the Bible. God asked Hosea to go marry Gomer, a “loose” woman, if you know what I mean. And Gomer proved to be very unfaithful indeed, running off with other men, selling herself. And yet, God told Hosea to continue loving her and even to take her back. Now, Hosea takes her back and loved her DESPITE knowing that this woman is unfaithful. If Carlos had been Hosea, I expect Gomer to be 6 feet under in some desert some where.

HIS point? God tells us through the love affair between Hosea and Gomer, that He loves us despite knowing we are such an unfaithful human race, so frivolous, so shallow, so full of secrets and badness, so…unlovable. And yet, He continued to love us. And His love culminated in the historic event one Christmas a long long time ago, when He sent Jesus, His Son, to come to us, be like us, lived among us, loved us…even to death…just so He could have us back! That is LOVE!

Have a Blessed Christmas everyone! May God once again fill our desperate desperate hearts with His love.

UNHOLY SMOKE!!!

I don’t think we will ever win the battle to get people to stop smoking. This picture shows a bunch of people who are staff of the hospital I work in happily puffing away in the cafetaria right under the sign that says “No Smoking”. Why can’t we win? Because there is no enforcement (as with most laws in this country). Why is there no enforcement? Because the very people who are supposed to enforce it are smokers themselves. That said, a significant number of my fellow doctors are smokers too!

The deleterious effect of smoking can only be seen 20-30 years down the road. I am sure the government knows very well that smoking is bad. There is a well established causal link between smoking and lung cancer and a host of other diseases. Is it doing enough to curb smoking? No!..why? Because the immediate profit from tobacco sale appears far more enticing that the long term loss in treating the bad effects of smoking.

Just so you know, the cost of chemotherapy for lung cancer is anything between 8K to 20K depending on what is the type of cancer and the chemotherapy agent used. That is assuming that the cancer can be treated. A chest physician in my department estimated that we will see an epidermic of lung cancer some time in 2020! Yup, Malaysia Boleh indeed! Yessiree, we will PAY for it eventually.

My advise? If you gotta smoke, don’t exhale…

Of ‘Enchanting Breasts’ and ‘Inconviences’

Saw this huge sign board on my way home from Malacca. It says “ENLARGE YOUR BUST. ENCHANTING YOUR LIFE!”. Personally I think breasts are beautiful. I mean, it’s one of those things about women that sets the hearts of red blooded men pitter-pattering away. Nothing wrong in that. God in His wisdom has designed women just that way and we, men, are eternally grateful. But, for the life of me, I just cannot comprehend how by enlarging one’s breast, her life would be enchanting!!! Frankly I have never seen any man or woman being enchanted by enlarged breasts! Perhaps the sponsors meant “enhancing” rather than “enchanting”. Still, I don’t see how anatomical enhancement can translate into life enhancement. A lot of room for debate there.

The lifts in my hospital are currently being upgraded (a kind of enhancement i guess). It’s a bane actually because it meant that now there are only 3 very very old (ie. slow) lifts servicing the same number of hospital staff and patients and visitors. But we bear with it, hoping that once the upgrading is done, life would be a lot easier. The poster above is pasted on EVERY floor on this 14 floor building. It’s just English down the sewage. A terrible shame actually. Don’t these people have anyone competent enough in English to proof read these posters before they are displayed? Sigh! I am all for Manglish but this is just plain BAD. So inconviencing-lah!

I saw a banner hung at a road corner near my church. Unfortunately I did not have the chance to photograph it. Perhaps the ones who put it up realised the typo error and promptly took it down rather quickly. Ever wonder why corruption is so rife? Well, that banner said: “School Holiday Art and GRAFT classes available. Enrol now!”. Go figure. Sigh.

A Beautiful Wedding

I went for Edmund’s wedding over the weekend in Malacca. It was held last Saturday evening at the Renaissance Hotel in the heart of Malacca town. Getting a room there to stay the night was out of the question as it was fully booked. In the end I got a room at the Straits Meridian Hotel near the Malacca Hospital. From outside, the hotel looked dingy at best but once inside, we (my family) were pleasantly surprised! Their tag line “A small hotel with a big heart” said it all. The room was a nice cosy one with a small functional kitchen, a clean shower and toilet (unfortunately there was no bath tub) and a small cosy living room. All for RM150per night inclusive of breakfast for two! There was a small swimming pool at the terrace (notice, everything is “small”). Unfortunately the weather was at its most foulest, so my kids were bored to death in the hotel room for 2 days watching “Chicken Little” on DVD over and over again. Sigh.

Back to the wedding. It was simply beautiful! I heard that Edmund’s sister was the wedding planner. Well, she certainly did a great job. I think she should go professional! The seatings were all pre-arranged. I was seated at table 29. Being a stickler for time there was no one there at the table when i reached. Traditionally its fashionable for any wedding function to start late and Edmund’s wedding was not an exception. Table 29 was just perfect! So close to the stage and the multimedia screen!

I was hoping that my fellow table mates would be people I know. I hate to eat alone no matter how good the food is! And I was no disappointed. Most of those who eventually sat there were doctors, and they were people that I knew, though only casually. Conversation is easy if you have common ground..you know, like discussing a child’s milestones (2 of them were paediatricians), tumors and abdominal surgery (2 were surgeons) and infectious diseases (one was an ID specialist).

And the wedding begun! The lights were dimmed and the door swung open and the 2 bride’s maid appeared followed by the father of the bride and the bride behind him! And the groom? Edmund was at the stage, holding a mike and crooning (yes, CROONING) the classic “When I fall in love…” and bride responded like-wise in the second stanza! Man, I didn’t know my fren Edmund could sing!!! Woooosh! Knocked the wind out of me! That was superb man! Way too cool!

After the song, the bride (Caroline) and the groom proceeded up the stage and cut the wedding cake. Then the feast began! No need for me to write about the food, it was just simply superb and delicious! I didn’t take any pictures of the dishes. It would be impolite to be snapping away at what people are obviously delighting in.

Then, the multimedia presentation began. It’s an “in” thing in almost every wedding that I have been to. The music accompanied slide show depicted the early years of Edmund and Caroline. It also included shots from their wedding album. You know, I think they look alike! And that’s good! Heh heh!

The traditional “Yum Seng” (chinese for the “toast”) time came but not before Edmund and Caroline performed the wine pouring ceremony! Before that Edmund sprung another surprise…he played the piano while his sister sang a song! This is one multi-talented guy!

Right after the yum seng, Edmund sprang another surprise! He danced with his wife on the stage. How romantic! They were soon joined by his father, George and Edmund’s sister. I think that was really nice.

One thing that impressed me most at the dinner was the part where couples came out with their partners and danced to some golden oldies tunes. I mean, these elderly couple were really good, no evidence of arthritis anywhere! And they looked as if they truly enjoyed dancing! Memo to self….to learn ballroom dancing in my golden years! Heh heh!

All in all, it was a truly memorable wedding and certainly a beautiful one. Congrats Edmund and Caroline! May God richly bless you as you start a new chapter in your lives as husband and wife

Dinner with Haris

We had dinner with Haris last Tuesday at the La Risata Italian Restaurant. Haris wanted to eat italian food (I wonder if it’s Brad Pitt’s favourite food as well!). It was supposed to start at 8 pm. Nizam, Sash, Yusof and I came fashionably late (30 minutes late..because Sash overslept!) to find Maz, Zanapiah, Haris and wife, Edmund and wife waiting patiently for us. Ramani came really fashionably late (1 hour later) because she got lost. KM understandably declined to join us.

Actually it’s the first time that we all got together to have a meal. I realised during the revision course with our fellow colleagues from HUKM that we were so different from our counterpart in HUKM. There, each of them have a partner to study with and they tend to do things together. Here, we are individualistic, prefering to do things alone. I think it’s a great disadvantage to do things alone. I have always believed that there is strength in number. Unfortunately for the life of me, I could not get anyone to study with me during the period leading up to the exam. Thankfully most of us made it!

Back to the dinner. The place was painted a gaudy red. My camera phone with its low resolution made things worst. I DO NOT have tremors for the record. So, pardon the shaky pics. You won’t be able to see Haris well in the pic above. Its kinda blur. I like to think he prefered it that way.

The food? Well, as expected, they were pricey to say the least. I didn’t think they tasted very nice either. We all ordered appetisers. Most of them ordered something called “Bushetta” (sure sounds like some waste product of bovine nature). It’s actually just garlic bread topped with some chopped up marinated tomatoes. Not too bad especially when you are starving.

I decided to try something different. I ordered fried calamari, sharing it with Yusof and Sash. I swear the italian chef inside the kitchen must have been either a health conscious freak or he lost his salt shaker. The calamari (SQUID) were totally bland. Another plausible explaination could be that the squids were actually FRESH water variety, having made an incredible evolutionary jump from sea water to river water! So, between the 3 of us, we wasted half a bottle of salt on the calamri in order to get it down.

Almost everyone ordered some kind of fruit juices. I, being post call and having not slept much the night before decided to go for coffee. The ice coffee served was about 1:1000 the dilution of ANY Kopi-ping (ICED COFFEE) I can get from any restaurant. I was hoping that some caffeine would keep my eyes opened. Alas! I was denied the fix!

Nizam ordered something which actually tasted rather nice. I forgot the name but the pic is on the left. I believe they used a microtome to slice the meat!!! You could almost see through it! But it tasted good.

For the main course, Zanapiah ordered sea food spaghetti which was rather tasty but a tat spicy. Sash decided on John Dory which really (pardon me) resembled something that the dinosaur left behind in one of the Jurassic Park movies. The Dory was disappointing (I guess the same chef must have prepared it). It was bland, bland, bland!!!!

I can’t remember what Yusof had even though he was just sitting next to me. (Shows how tired I was!). I decided on Fettucine with scallops. It was nice but rather pricey (RM28 for a small plate!). Nizam ordered the same thing and commented that he didn’t like it. “Baby Food” he said.

But the company was great! It was the first time all of us had a look at Edmund’s bride to be (they are tying the knot tomorrow!). My only gripe was that the table was square so we couldn’t really talk to everyone. But laughter and jokes filled the air. A great sense of relief can be felt in the air. And most of all, a sense of gratitude to GOD who made it all possible through a great guy named Haris. Thanks again Haris! May we all become physicians with a heart like yours.

Gym Membership

I joined the gym! It’s one of the things that I would reward myself with if I passed the exam. Actually, I received a trial 2 week membership at the Clark Hatch chain of gym from my credit card for my birthday. And so, I decided to try it out. I went to the gym at PJ Hilton, the one nearest to my workplace. I liked it the moment I stepped into the gym.

The reception was warm. They welcomed me even though it was a freebie thingy. I was ushered into the gym area and left to my own devices. Why do I like the place? Well, first and foremost, it was NOT noisy! I have been to another gym before and came out with significant hearing loss. The pounding music there easily have given me arrythmias. No point going to a gym to become deaf and worst still die of a heart attack there!

The music in the changing room at Hilton was piped-in jungle sounds complete with bird chirpings. It was relaxing indeed. The sauna and steam bath were well maintained and clean. The showers were spotless. In the other gym, they also had piped-in music, but by the likes of songs by 50 cents, 45 sens, 30 sens, ACDC, KISS, you catch my drift.

And the crowd…such a pleasant lot in PJ Hilton! Most them were professionals and there for some serious workout. There weren’t that many people and no one hogs the equipments. I had pleasant conversations with a guy from Switzerland and another from UK. Locals included lawyers and doctors. In the other gym, most were there to see and to be seen. Not to say there aren’t any at Hilton, in my two visits there so far, I have only seen one person who stared at himself in the mirror expressing lots of love and admiration for himself! I must admit he did have killer abs and a well toned body. Probably a model. Well, since he obviously worked very hard on his body, I suppose he has the right to admire it right, even publicly.

And the one that clinched it all? They did not hassle me into joining the gym. There was no hardlined propaganda, no pressure whatsoever. In the other gym that I visited, I had to endure 30 minutes of “talk” by this PR officer who was interested in everything about me, from my stats, to my leisure activities to how much i bring home every month, before I was allowed to go into the gym. And then he outlined a possible workout routine for me that would suit my preference (Like making a Brad Pitt out of me in 6 months….frankly I think it will need a miracle, plus face transplant) and basically trying to get me to sign above the dotted line. Sigh! I was so hassled, I lost interest in exercising.

So, I joined the gym at Hilton. Wasn’t cheap but not atrociously expensive either. An extra day doing locum ought to cover the monthly expenses. They have a pool to boot, so that’s a big plus. My goal? Basically to keep this old faithful heart thumping heartily and get all these exam exhausted muscles toned up. Nothing more grandious than that. No ripping bulging muscles for me…I think I am way passed that age. Heh heh! They were no freebies when I joined up. No T-shirts to advertise for them, no gaudy colored bags with big gym logos on them, nothing! …And I like it that way. (Heck, I don’t want to be seen carrying a gym bag looking like anything but FIT!!!)

Anyone wanna join me?…