Things tired mountain climbers say


Memorable quotes from the recent climb up Gunung Berembun last Saturday:

“I just want to remind the young people here not to make too much noise while climbing. We don’t want to disturb the spirits!” (said by an older climber RIGHT AFTER we prayed for safety and said ‘amen’. #that’sdamnmehandblardyinappropriate!)

“Remember this son, someday you will do the same thing for your dad” (said by someone who watched me tie Ryan’s shoe laces)

“When my dad says it’s an easy climb, it generally means hell” (said by son of one of the organisers of the climb)

“Quick! Quick! Get the salt from my backpack!” (said by a climber on discovering a leach was happily crawling on her palm but HAS NOT bitten her yet)

“We shall rename this cave Gua Durian” (said by a climber after a durian feast at the Gua Kambing)

“Are we there yet?” (said by many a weary climbers)

“Anyone want to taste my nuts?” (said by Jimbo when offering his bag of honey roasted almond nuts to other climbers)

“Eeeewwww” (said by many climbers offered honey roasted almond nuts by Jimbo)

“I’m actually on a diet” (said by a climber after eating a whopping 6 durians)


Surely the heights of ignorance that I encountered the other day could not possibly be surpassed by any that I have encountered so far:

Dr: can I ask you a question?
Me: sure.
Dr: you see, I am very worried.
Me: oh? Why?
Dr: well…. The other day I performed a ultrasound examination on the abdomen of a patient with HIV.
Me: ok, so what’s the problem?
Dr: I want to ask is there any chance I will get HIV from the patient?
Me: ugh….no. HIV is transmitted via exchange of infected body fluids via direct entry through either a contaminated needle or transfusion and through sex with an infected person.
Dr: so, there is no chance I will get infected right?
Me: ugh… No.
Dr: oh thank you very much. I feel much better now.