“Why do you do what you do? What keeps you going?”
That’s the question I have been asked, four times in the last 2 months. They were asked by different people and in different situations. Let me tell you about them.
1. The Brother-in-law
This man was the brother-in-law (BIL) of a patient who was referred to me from a private hospital. The latter was admitted in that hospital for severe shortness of breath and was treated as having pneumonia. After spending 8 days there and exhausting their finances, he was transfered over. When I saw him, he was near death. It was quickly established that he has HIV and pulmonary tuberculosis.
The first sentence that his BIL said to me that night when I was on call was: “Doctor, how come you are so calm?” I replied: “If I panic, no good will come out of it”. (I was actually wondering if it was real calmness I projected or pure apathy!).
I didn’t see him again till 2 months later when it was nearing time for the patient to be discharged. Some how the patient survived and was making the long slow and painful path to recovery. I sat together with the BIL and explained my plans for the patient. At the end of the conversation, he asked me that question: “Dr, why do you do what you do? What keeps you going?”
2. The Medical Students
These 2 students sat with me in stunned silence as I spent about an hour talking to a sobbing homemaker, first by telling her that her hubby has HIV, then explaining to her how the virus is transmitted and finally, to tell her that no matter how angry she is, she is all her hubby has for support now. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed; then recomposed herself, thank me and walked out the clinic door to her hubby who was waiting outside (he couldn’t bring himself to tell his wife all these).
I felt drained after that.
Then the students asked, “Why do you choose to do what you do?”
3. The Master Student
He was the next person to ask me, when I began my attachment in UMMC again after being away for 1.5 years. He came up to me while the ID clinic was at its end and he asked., “Dr. J, why do you choose to do ID?”
I asked him, “Why? Are you interested in doing ID as well?”.
He averted my gaze when he replied, “Actually I am interested in ID but I know I won’t be able to make a lot of money if I choose ID”.
I said, “Yeah, if making money is your primary concern, I’m afraid ID is not for you. I don’t think you can make much money being an ID physician”.
Funny, at that point, I almost felt what Jesus felt when he had the conversation with the rich young ruler (Luke 18: 18-23)
4. The Church Member
“J, can I ask you for a favour?”, asked a church member after the church service one day.
*Spider senses tingling like crazy* ~ “Trouble!!! Prepare to deflect all arrows!”
“Can you speak at the coming church family camp?”
*Mega-spider sense headache* ~ “Errrr, what about?”, I asked.
“Oh, just talk about your work, what you do, and why you do it”.
“Why?”, I asked.
“So that others can be encouraged”, he replied.
There is that question again! Four times in less than 2 months.
Frankly, I haven’t really thought much about it, you know, about why I do what I do. Money is definitely not the reason, as can be seen in conversation no. 3 above. Status and glamor are out as well (ever heard of any glamorous ID physicians or one with a Datukship??!!!)
I sincerely do not think that my story will inspire, much less, encourage anyone.
I enjoy doing what I do. I find immense satisfaction in doing it.
The church camp is this weekend! And I am given 10-15 minutes to talk. I better cook up a story real fast!
I could think of one reason though….
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am constantly hungry, in the physical sense. I have to eat every 2 hours in order to stave away any hypoglycemic symptoms. If I stay hungry, I would have a massive migraine to contend with. And that makes me a lousy candidate as a Christian. Fasting as a discipline would be unimaginable! If I were a Moslem, I would be a miserable one because I would not be able to fast the entire month of Ramadhan! (I truly admire my Moslem friend’s ability to fast).
So, to seek an alternative, here is the fast I observe:
“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58: 6-9)

I guess, in the final analysis, I do what I do with the hope that when it finally comes to my turn to be in need, I may, at that time, find some measures of mercy and grace.
I think I shall tell them at the Family Camp this weekend to just read my blog here! That shouldn’t take more than 2 minutes!
Thurs, 150508 @ 0700
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